Lightyear(s) Away From A Good Movie


Lightyear Plot

After being marooned on a hostile planet due to his arrogance, Captain Lightyear attempts to achieve hyper speed and return the space rangers home have led him on a mission to stop Zurg and be the hero that went to infinity and beyond.

Characters/ Roast

Buzz Lightyear (Chris Evans) is what you would expect a woke 2022 action hero to be. A person that tries their best and, hopefully, after many attempts, will seem to get it right in the end after countless failures. Buzz has similar traits to Captain America, such as being frozen in ice and staying young while his friends age, and not having much of a life besides trying to bring glory to himself. Outside of that, he was uncoordinated and needed to be rescued a few times in this movie only for him to look like the hero you wanted at the end of the movie.

Alisha Hawthorne (Uzo Aduba) was better at being a soldier when she was present. Her being better than Buzz on the battlefield was done on purpose. But you can imagine the friendship they had was genuine (barely) the LGBTQ+ element in this movie wasn’t as bad as the Eternals. At the same time, if it was cut from the movie nothing would be missed. The movie skipped over Hawthorne’s son and focused on her granddaughter (I wonder why).

Junior Patrol is a newbie volunteer squadron that was formed to combat the robot invasion that happened a week ago. (Not even a major threat) the team consists of Hawthorne’s granddaughter Izzy, an old convict Darby Steel, and quitter Mo Morrison. In 2022, after a global plague. This is the best team you’re going to get. Convenient circumstances and plot armor to save the day!


Zurg is a threat that appears in the movie only for a week. The surprise twist is that he is an older version of Buzz who has tampered with time. This version of Buzz/Zurg is still focused on the mission of taking everyone back home and doesn’t care about everyone else’s settled lives on the planet. Thus making him a bad guy.

Lightyear thoughts

Disney had a cartoon series of Buzz Lightyear in the early 2000s that was well received. Instead of making a Woody Western spin-off, the public had to watch a watered-down, incompetent Star Command movie. Yeah, the visuals look great, especially the scenes when they fight in space, but the journey to getting there felt kind of wasted when the crystal got destroyed again. Life isn’t certain and isn’t perfect, but nothing in this universe has proper planning. Resources like water and vegetables are not mentioned in this movie at all. I guess space people don’t worry about that. One thing I can give the movie credit for is that one person can’t do everything alone and it’s ok to need help if you make a mistake. His constant attempts to fix his error while sacrificing time with his friend was also a noble act. Pixar knows how to tug at human emotions, but this won’t be one of their better films.

This movie 3 out of 10

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