She-Hulk: Attorney At Law Looks Like White Chicks

2022 is clearly not Disney+/Marvel’s year. To my horror, the She-Hulk: Attorney at Law trailer has dropped and it’s been out for awhile, but time has not healed my wounds.

She-Hulk

Plot?

Jennifer Walters (Tatiana Maslany) is a lawyer who deals with deadly cases and also happens to be related to Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo). One way or another, she’s in a case too deep and mobsters attempt to take her life. Bruce gets to his cousin and the only way to save her is by giving her the Hulk aids via a transfusion. At least that’s how the comics lore is structured.

She-Hulk Trailer Roast

Where can I begin to take apart this dumpster fire? Professor Hulk appears in this trailer so it’s already a sign to abandon all hope. I get it, the strength of the Hulk and the intellect of Banner but Banner is boring as hell. We went from the old TV show portraying him as the tortured traveler battling with a “demon” within. He was way more interesting until now.

Abomination has been easter egged in previous projects, now that we see him he’s in a glass cage. I would hope he breaks out and an awesome fight takes place, but I won’t hold my breath. The fact that they have (Tim Roth) back is nice, but unnecessary.

Tall, green, and sexy has major issues. Everyone is coming out with Fiona jokes from Shrek (which are nice) but I got the uncanny prosthetic look from the Wayans brothers’ White Chicks movie. Something doesn’t look right or natural. The Beverly Hills vibe and “your ass looks nice in that dress” comment made me vomit a little in my mouth. The scene with her speed-dating and wanting to get the meal to go so she could spread that man’s butt cheeks was femdom at best, but super off-putting. We already know it’s a guy in a suit or wires carrying the dude to the bedroom. It’s a sad state of affairs for loyal MCU fans. Changing all the characters from years of films and storytelling to their discount replacements.

Conclusion

I’m probably going to skip this show unless I’m compelled to marathon it once it’s complete.

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Trailer 2

Look at his face

The second trailer released for Comic Comic Con 2022 has Professor Hulk being shrunk down to size because She-Hulk is better than him in every way. The action sequences are turned up a little, but nothing spectacular. The movie ends with Daredevil’s appearance, wearing the Yellow and Black suit. More MCU costume confusions, plus more toy sales, equals the same conclusion as the first movie, but maybe this time I’ll watch the fight scenes from the series, which probably number only 2 or 3 tops out of six episodes.