The Witcher Season 3 Episodes 1-5 Review: A Dull Trainwreck

The Witcher Season 3 Episodes 1-5 tells a story that shifts its focus between Geralt, Ciri, and Yennefer, as they struggle to protect one another and stay alive. In this season, both the Elven and Human kingdoms become aware of Ciri’s existence, and each faction seeks to claim her for their own agendas. Geralt and Ciri find themselves faced with difficult decisions, as they strive to make choices that will minimize casualties.

The Witcher Season 3 Episodes 1-5
The Witcher Season 3 1-5

The Witcher Season 3 Episodes 1-5 Characters / Roast

Geralt of Rivia (Henry Cavill) has become a beloved character among fans of The Witcher. Unfortunately, it has been announced that Henry will not continue to portray Geralt after Season 3. Despite this news, Season 3 did not feature many battles between Geralt and creatures, focusing more on conflicts with humans. Geralt only used the Witcher serum once throughout the entire 5-episodes which had a total runtime of 55 minutes.

The story attempted to delve into his past, where he accompanied a young woman who claimed to be Ciri to an old friend of his mother’s, only to discover that his mother had passed away. This is the first time witnessing Geralt shedding a tear, which was unexpected considering the common belief that witchers are incapable of displaying such emotions, much like having children.

Yennefer (Anya Chalotra) the powerful witch, attempts to reconcile with Geralt by writing him letters after betraying both him and Ciri in order to regain her magic in Season 2. She takes on the responsibility of teaching Ciri magic, but since Ciri struggles with it, Yennefer wants to return her to the Brotherhood of Sorcerers, where she herself learned about magic. Given the heavy influence of politics in this world, Yennefer plays her part to gain favor with the brotherhood as well. Apart from the character’s efforts to suck up with those who can assist her, there isn’t much else happening in the first five episodes of the season. The actress is visually appealing on screen and follows the same trajectory as in Season 2, without any topless scenes.

Ciri (Freya Allan) is a part-elf child surprise, witcher, and future princess. Despite having great power and potential, she comes across as quite dull. Her hunting skills surpass her magical abilities since she underwent the same training program as Geralt. Unfortunately, her magical capacity is weak, and she needs to understand her visions better and gain control over her impulsive actions. Each time she glimpses something in her visions, she rushes into action without considering the consequences. Ciri’s visit to the Brotherhood of Sorcerers quickly disappoints her, as she finds herself serving wine to older women engaging in behavior associated with a “hot girl summer.”

This experience prompts her to consider becoming a queen and uniting both worlds, which would be seen as a noble act if it came from anyone other than her. Throughout the season, Ciri’s main contribution seems to be whining, complaining, and making facial expressions that make her appear older than Yennefer.

Jaskier (Joey Batey) serving as Geralt’s bard, felt unnecessary in this season as his return was only halfway through, where he played the role of a double agent and shared a kiss with King Vizimir Brother. Among the miscellaneous background characters, regardless of their diversity, nothing seemed out of place until the introduction of dwarf women with beards, which was annoying. However, it wasn’t as bothersome as some of the actresses wearing wigs with strands of different colors. They might as well give them the Ellen DeGeneres haircut with pink or purple dyed hair to top it offI’m primarily referring to the female bard trio they introduced, seemingly to overshadow Jaskier. Perhaps some modern writer thought it was clever or innovative, but in reality, it felt completely out of place.

The Witcher Season 3 Episodes 1-5 Thoughts

The Witcher Season 3 suffers from a common Netflix problem where, after successful first and maybe second seasons, the third season tends to drag the story and introduce unexpected elements. This season, however, not much actually happened. In the previous season, Ciri was possess]ed and opened portals, unleashing strange creatures. Nothing of that level occurred in this season. They introduced an elf played by Robbie Amell only for him to be fatally stabbed in the neck, just to facilitate the acceptance of the human he had a connection with by the king. It felt like a cheap shot, and frankly, I couldn’t care less.

To make matters worse, Netflix decided to split the season into two parts, with the rest of the episodes releasing in July. I thought the purpose of Netflix was to binge-watch a show in one sitting, not wait for the next month to finish the same season. Combined with the recent event of charging for shared passwords, Netflix and chill reputation seems to be headed for a crash and burn.

The Witcher Season 3 Episodes 1-5 a 2 out of 10

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